Friday, 29 July 2011

Why didn't she talk about what troubled her ?

Amy Winehouse was found dead at her home.Nothing more is known as yet about how she died.However a lot of talk is there about how 'troubled' she was ! Every now and then ,here in India .we too hear about tragic deaths of celebs/models- most recent one was that of Viveka Babajee. The case scenario is usually the same: a young successful ,beautiful woman[ or a handsome guy],living alone.
There are many people who live stark alone in Indian metros- not just celebrities. They have either superfluous candy friends whom they either chat only via their Blackberries or Laptops. They have their Facebook ids crammed with a number of 'friends'.
They have friends who say hi only through facebook or on chat or worst drop one line in six months via email.There are young people who literally stay alone in a flat,clobbered to death by 'efficiency and productive driven' corporates and made to work 60 and more hours per week. And then there are people who are married but are still alone since they can't really talk to their spouse openly.Then there are those successful and not so successful young people who always have people to party,drink and probably do drugs with..yet alone.There is no real connection between people these days.Money,especially people who are on fast track to earn money ,buy cars and bungalows as young as possible don't want to 'waste' time talking to people,listening to people ...sometimes their own family members.When was the last time you acknowledged the fact that your mom cooks for you, takes care of what you like. Or the stuff your sister/brother does for you. When was the last time you thanked them? When was the last time you appreciated your wife/husband selflessly and genuinely ?

So whenever a lonely, stifled person commits suicide its a reminder that people who actually loved/liked him or her didn't take time out to keep in touch .When i say keep in touch.....i mean met that person face to face.So the truth is when the callous media throws up 20-30 articles with inputs from psychiatrists around such deaths - its pathetic.Don't be surprised at such deaths. It could be you or someone from your family next.

In Indians, I know inappreciativeness and not saying thanks and sorry vocally is wired in the genes. However, since we are already on the bandwagon of aping western values , might as well ape the good stuff too ! Look around, we no longer live in joint families where without sacrifice it was impossible to live in one.

Mobiles,facebook,internet are just tools .They are just 'businesses'. They are not replacement for real people,real conversations and that backslapping camaraderie.I wish for those times when it was ok to drop in to meet friends.I wish for those apartments where neighbors get to know each other.Meeting up with friends should be as simple as lounging on the verandah on hot summer evenings and not some fancy restaurant and spend money there to get a feeling of having 'done' something together.

Staying alone in another city or being married doesn't mean cutting off from your families ..especially your brothers and sisters.So talk in person because 90% of conversation is non verbal,listen and be patient the way your grandpa's generation was because there is a price to pay for 'I want it now'.And yes, good relationships still take time to build and have to be nurtured and something tells me so long as we are still humans, we cannot go against Nature.

So why didn't she talk about what troubled her ?
Its because she had no one to talk to ,empathize with her or even be concerned enough to take her to the doctor.The rest is bullshit.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...