Monday, 31 December 2012

wil mindsets change?

Will Indian mentality change? Maybe in another 100 years? maybe when there is certain amount of erosion of 'plain wrong' 'values and traditions'.Or may be when women become dying extinct species in India !

Overheard in Pune's PMT bus..........

Lady:[in marathi- i am transliterating] get up. Ladies seat.
Man:[ seating in ladies seat ]: ladies seat what do i do..i am going to get up after few stops,sit that time.
lady: [to the conductor]: see, what he is telling..
Conductor: Oh ,you have sat uptill now na...chala chala get up.

The man mutters under his breath and gets up and vacates the seat.

Just few stops away i was standing there and i didn't even know that ladies seat enforcement was even being done seriously in Pune PMT. When it was introduced in pune nearly 5-6 yrs back, men resented it. Like stubborn asses, they refused to get up from marked and allocated seats. Now the buses have gone to the dogs and most markings have disappeared.As far as i know, ladies have stopped asking men to get up from ladies seat.Men still stubbornly occupy them.Conductors and PMT doesn't care.

After all this drama,an extra smart gentleman with a 10-12 yr old son in tow starts his monologue.He goes like this:

Man: [in educated marathi] There is ladies bus na to Hadapsar.Ladies should travel in ladies bus so they reach safely and men too can comfortably travel.

Conductor didn't reply back.

The point is not that men don't deserve comforts....but how much ? They are physically stronger than women.They use their physical strength and boast about it and show off whether in sports, office and at home.Yet, ALL the unpaid work is done by women.They come home to housewives, clean house, fed and bathed children and home-cooked food all free of cost and yet they grudge the basic rights of women which were anyways theirs to take.When it comes to sharing of 'outside the home' spaces, the hearts of Indian men shrink to minuscule level. They DON'T want women to share all their spaces: office, playgrounds, pavements ,public transports.They think all this belongs only to them that's why the few times i have travelled with my Dad in Mumbai locals they have pointedly told me that 'there are women coaches'.

Pune men are even more smart: they want women to wait for rare ,once in 5 hours PMT -only women bus so that they [men] can travel in peace !

Saturday, 29 December 2012

a person died........

      the Delhi student who was gang-raped died at early hours today in Singapore...and Delhi police ramped up and secured vital points of Delhi and made some zones inaccessible to protestors.This is what Delhi police can do ! Probably ,anywhere in India police would do the same ! The police personnel are probably wondering what is the hullabaloo is all about. After all, it was not a terrorist attack ! just some girl raped.......died.

        Girls die all the time in India.True, men die too !But in India and other developing countries,women die mostly because of trauma, abuse and incredible hard lives...that's the difference !

I am for capital punishment for rape and castration for minor rapists. Rape also could be made non- bailable offence! The noose could be tightened and made so tight that men in India would think thrice before taking advantage of women in vulnerable areas and positions.

The men who commit rape should not be allowed to cover their faces in public.Their names should be printed and paraded about.

For medieval mindsets and patriarchal norms in India , we need medieval punishments and deterrents. Otherwise apathetic men and women like Kakoli Ghosh will continue to spout bakwas and remain in power !

If capital punishment is made for rape,it may not stop rape but it might motivate Indian men and women to bring up their sons more responsibly and may instill more confidence in women to move about freely in this country. The girl died ....and this has instilled fear in parents of girls and indian women of all ages.

If nothing is done about this Indian women will live in fear and rapists and indian men and women with patriarchal mindsets would have a huge margin !

Saturday, 22 December 2012


I have been following the increasing outrage and public protest  over the gang rape of the 23yr old student.While she copes bravely and according to televised reports is mentally stable and coping with her injuries,Delhi's young are out on the streets.

And that's good ! Majority of protestors are young people ! That is a good sign ! Why are there not similar public protests against the police,lawmakers, law enforcers and finally Government all over India ?

Are police and bureaucrats only there to make 'money' while they hold Government offices ? The aam admi like me and you are hassled everyday by this 'democratic' governance which quietly accepts bribes and tokens and gifts just to do their work.
And then that too they don't do properly!

Police force is dominated by men.They always have been since so many years. Couldn't they be sensitized towards crimes against women? How many more years will that take ? And meanwhile, do they expect women to keep quiet and not demand justice and suffer in silence ?

Police women [ the few there are] are useless and unkind to other women so clearly being a woman in law enforcement will not guarantee anything !

Rape is not just about sex. Men don't understand RAPE !For them its sex at ALL costs ! Women who bring up sons need to drill in their minds that touching a woman without her consent is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Parents who bring up sons need to drill this again and again and again till their sons get this message. It needs to start at the very young age.

Please talk about sex to your sons or go to a doctor who can answer all questions about it.Teach your daughters to not be coy or mistake possessiveness for love and not flirt for favours !
Lastly, stop ostracizing rape victims ! Its not her fault even if she wore short skirt, went out alone with the guy on a date,or just trusted a friend.Its not her fault if the husband didn't understand 'No', or that leech of an uncle took advantage of her young age of 3.

Ostracize the rapist not the victim ! If Police force of India CANNOT respect women and do their jobs then may be we don't need this kind of lethargic police force !

As a nation, India has failed ! Indian women are still going around in circles of Indian culture,values,responsibilities with a whole lot family honour dumped on her frail shoulders !

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Indian men

Men don't care about rape .Indian men more so !No wonder when heinous rape cases make headlines...most men keep quiet and slink away. Women get angry and depressed and sometimes both!

Women get afraid ..Indian women are habituated and trained to live in fear. So much so when brave Indian women live on their own and are actively choosing their virtues and vice , indian men have a problem with it.They don't want indian women to breathe ,live and be happy without them. They just want them to cook,clean and breed for them without asking questions.

Indian men talk a lot about culture.... they make sure their wives and daughters remain within 'culture'then they go out of their homes and stare and stare at every passing woman.Some men think its alright to stare and make the indian woman uncomfortable!

Here i want to tell you my experience. I went on religious trip to Kerbala [Iraq] 2 years ago with my Mom and Dad. From the moment I stepped on battle weary and bombed Iraq,i experienced a freedom of different kind...the men there [Muslim majority country] didn't grope me,not one stared at me, didn't bore into my eyes while talking to me.I was a foreigner there wearing a colorful rida among their women in sea of black.

They were gruff and aloof and mostly avoided talking to us [ though Iraqi women did talk with us indian women in the mausoleums].But not one man made me feel conscious of being a woman the whole 12 days i was there.I felt free in a burkha clad Iraqi city.That is what i still have to feel in India !

Indian men are socially warped..because they want to cover up their women in the name of culture and then go out of their homes and tear off clothes of a woman and rape her because her jeans was too tight or skirt too short.
I think its not about clothes because even saree clad women and salwar kameez wearing women are raped in India.

Women and men in India are bringing up boys too lightly,too much undisciplined.Mothers don't know what their sons are upto.Parents here hide the son's faults, don't give stricter punishments. Something is fundamentally wrong with Indian society and the way its brings up its children especially men.

Men are not gods, a solution to all your problems,woman!Recognize what harm your son is capable of .Instead of insisting he becomes a MAN,just insist he becomes a human being...a decent one at that !

Stop sweeping everything under Indian values and culture.

Monday, 3 December 2012


There are films and then there are Films !

I watched Aiyya on TV 15 days ago and now i have already seen it thrice.Its come on TV quite early since its release and that means the film has not probably done well in theatres as other 'B%%&*&* films have been doing.

When i saw the film , i instantly felt it may not have done well simply because it was woman centric, Not Khan oriented, and it was Not derogatory to women as Rowdy Rathore or such trash dished out in the name of mainstream 'entertainment'.

Before any one jumps at me..i tried to see Rowdy rathore when it came on TV.It was pure F&%&%* Bullshit. I just could not tolerate the innuendos and pure rustic derogatory portrayal of women both in lyrics and the dialogues.It induced an headache and i lost interest halfway through the movie.It was not funny and not worth a penny.

On the contrary, Aiyya was pure fun. Rani Mukherji was innocent, funky and sexy all at the same time ! I wanted to see the film for Rani since in the promos she sizzled and was sparkling in every weird dialogue of the film.I wished I had seen it in a theatre but i am so disillusioned by Bollywood films that wasting 200+ and make an effort to go to the theatre is too much work for me!

The whole concept of a middle class woman following her nose [ literally] dreaming,lusting after a guy of her choice was great.

Such a different and refreshing film ! The loud comic scenes were devoid of cheap thrills and for the first time i actually laughed at the slapstick comedy. Slapstick comedy by women ! Even the melodrama was endearing !
No boring repetitive reference to heroine's patli kamar and how it enthrals and makes the day of the hero. No bakwas on how a woman should be ! No bikini in one scene and then salwar kameez in another. No unnecessary and forced drinking and shooting drugs to sport coolness or heartbreak.

Rani's character Meenaxi even runs away on her engagement day to wait for the chance to speak to the guy of her dreams.She brings him home and frankly asks to get married to him.How cool,liberated and reeking of bravado is that!

The end of the film seemed hurried and there was something missing in certain scenes but overall the captivating performance by Rani stole the show.

Prithviraj played the supportive role and was an apt 'object of desire'.Prithiviraj was hot, period !

The day dreaming scenes where Rani drifts off to ultra glamorous avatar completely different than her day to day life was completely relatable by me.I used to notoriously and vicariously live in my crazy dreams and i was always more beautiful, more glamourous, and slimmer with a perfect figure in my day dreams !
How cool it is to portray this reality of most of us middle class ordinary girls and women !

The movie was fresh fun and i loved the background score when the credits rolled out at the end !

A different woman oriented film.Go watch it for Rani Mukherji..i like her better in Aiyya than Black !

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